The Weekend

Had an appointment first thing Saturday morning with Dr. Vanstam. Before I left for her home, I did some BodyTalk on myself, got centered, and asked for what I wanted; asked for the right words to say. Felt very good about everything I said at the meeting. Another doctor from Holland was there, Yolanda, and I spent 15 minutes explaining to them both over coffee how BodyTalk works, how I found BodyTalk and what I thought BodyTalk Access could do in Macha. Dr. Yanika Vanstam has been in Macha the longest, because she lives here, as suppose to other doctors who travel here for months or weeks at a time. She's in charge of what goes on healthcare wise (second only to the Christian Mission who runs this town. Definitely no separation between church and state here), so I was advised to have this meeting with her. I was not disappointed when she would not allow me to teach the class. I guess I was surrendered to whatever the outcome was going to be. Ready to teach, and also ready to give up the fight. I couldn't try any harder. She said what they practice in the hospital is based on 'science', and that she was too concerned that if she empowered people with healthcare techniques, it would be one more thing to postpone them coming to the hospital to seek care. She said there were already too many who stayed home and tried superstitious methods, or visited the traditional healer, and by the time they got to the hospital it was too late to receive any life saving treatment. I told her there was ignorance like this everywhere, and it was no reason not to give people techniques to improve their own health. Techniques that would prevent trips to the hospital, and techniques that would speed up the time spent in the hospital. We could stress that these are preventative techniques, and that medical care is still always necessary when symptoms arise. She still said no. Then I offered to teach the techniques as simply stress reducing techniques, with an emphasis on seeking healthcare from a medical professional at the first sight of a symptom. She still said no. Then I offered to teach them just in the schools to balance the brain, and reduce stress levels so that children could function better in school. Had already given her the example of the study done at the school in Chicago, but still she said no. Then a few other Dutch med students showed up and joined the conversation. I asked a lot of questions about the hospital, the nurses, why they weren't training the nurses in any complimentary care, the maternity ward, and many other things about the culture, healthcare and childbirth here. I felt they at least knew that I knew what I was talking about and I felt respected. I asked Yanika permission to volunteer at the hospital during my last week in Macha, and she's going to speak with someone on Monday. She's also going to put me in touch with the physiotherapist here, whom I completely forgot about. I did get to spend a lot of time discussing why complimentary healthcare was so beneficial in the hospital and birthing room. Discussed studies done on having a presence, an observer in the room, to calm the patient and make them feel safe and allow for the parasympathetic nervous system to do it's job in healing, birthing, digesting and strengthening the immune system. It felt very clear to me that these women had no idea what I was talking about, and that they don't understand human need and true healing, only diseases and how to take them out temporarily with medication and surgery. (Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the life saving benefits of allopathic medicine.) But while I was sitting there, I thought, I have to love these women, and I think I did the best I could. I'd be honored to serve in the hospital next week. And maybe if someone asks what I'm doing, I can pass the knowledge off to them. Not BodyTalk, just THE knowledge. Such special knowledge it is; to really SEE a human being and help relieve their suffering and fear, and meet their needs on all levels. Help them to live, or to die.

I spent the afternoon watching a movie and crying. I had woken up especially early that morning because I allowed the wife of a neighbor, Florence, to stay the night. Her brother and mother were in town, because her sister had been sent here to the hospital with a severly compromised immune system, and was about to die. The mother stays at the hospital by her sister's side to hold the IV in so the sister doesn't pull it out. She won't eat and wants to die. Florence pulled a mattress in and slept on the floor. It was nice to talk with her and get to know her. She got up early to bring food to the hospital. The hospital doesn't feed people here, and the nurses barely bathe or care for the patients. It's up to the family. The nurses like to chat more than work. They are just nurses because there's nothing else to be. I woke up before Florence on Saturday morning, because I was having some very upsetting dreams. I've been having them all week. So after Florence left I spent an hour doing some writing and sorting through things. Haven't had the dreams since. And interestingly, since I sorted it out, the swelling has completely disappeared from my face. It's all related. It always is. Was talking with a woman tonight, because I'm now having new recurring dreams, and her theory is that I'm so far away from everything now, I'm able to really analyze my life from a distance. That resonated deeply. Of course, you have to get outside of something to really see it. I knew I'd take a good, hard look at myself here, but I didn't realize I'd look at such specific things from the past. Thought it would be more general, I guess.

When the day started to cool down a bit I went berry picking. Picked up some boys from Macha on the way. The nurse, Karen who they follow around normally, is in Lusaka, so they had no one to follow around til they found me. They were hysterical. You'll see pictures of them. They climbed the trees and helped me a lot, so I paid them some kwatcha. Had to ditch my shetenge for shorts, because I was soooo hot. It's suppose to rain again, so a brief heat wave rolled in. Can't wait for the rain!!! Went for dinner at the Peno's house that night. It was fun. Felt more accepted and connected and just had fun. I've been talking to this woman Sandra, who's a Zambian and a biologist at the Malaria Research Center in Matcha. She's interested in BodyTalk, so I'll probably swing by her place this week to help her with her allergies, and show her this article on the Amygdala, and how allergies really work. The craziest thing happened as we were leaving. Sue (a teacher, neurologist, missionary, very bright woman), mentioned that a woman in town, Mrs. Ester, who I know of because I almost stayed with her, had taken her daughter to the hospital three times this month because she kept passing out. The hospital couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. I said, "I'll work with her.", and Sue said, "Oh that'd be great! Lauren should work with her." I almost fell over. Huh? This woman looked through my BodyTalk stuff the other day and didn't say a word. Now she's endorsing me? Anything goes. So I'll let you know what happens.

Today we woke up early to travel to Mapanza, a village about 20 km away, to attend church with the pastor and his entourage. The singing at the services here is nothing short of intoxicating. The voices and the rhythms and the richness of it is so intense and beautiful. Kevin and I stood around a lot in the heat. We didn't know what was happening the whole day. We were just along for the ride. I've decided there's nothing I dislike more than sitting around in people's hot, cramped living rooms!! I'd rather sit outside, and I usually sneak out at the risk of being rude and anti social. I just can't do it. It's so uncomfortable. I love air conditioning. We followed the entourage over to someone's home, and they fed us, of course, chicken and n'shima. It's interesting. It's really all they eat. There's no variety here. I guess that's how life has always been in areas with limited resources, and no trading with faraway places. You lived in China you ate rice, Ireland you ate potatoes, Zambia you ate n'shima. We had to wait around while they had a meeting, and I was once again anti social, and took a nap on my shetenge under a tree. (They never tire of each other, and never tire of singing. Sometimes you need a break) After walking for an hour just to get cookies at a store open on Sunday I arrived home to some sad news. The neighbor I've been getting to know came over crying, telling me that her husband is drinking away all their money, and that whenever she asks him to save some to buy things for the house, her husband yells, "You don't sweat for it" and he hits her. She doesn't have any family in Macha, and has only been here six months, and I'm the only one she knows. Life is so bizarre. What are we doing here anyway? I'd really like to know. What are all these relationships about, and the failures and successes, the suffering, and the personal growth. What does it all lead to? Who are we anyway?

On a lighter note, there are two geckos that regularly frequent my window and are eating all of the mosquitoes! Now if they could just eat the Jave the Hut bug, the pencil bug, the round bug with fangs, the poisonous spider/scorpion, the ants with wings, the small bugs that fit through the holes in my net and the wasp who's building a nest in my room, then I'd be set. I'll never complain about ants again. Okay, maybe I will.