Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Last Day
Today was my final day in Africa. This morning was one of those beautiful unexpected mornings that unfold themselves into perfection; better than anything you could have planned. I knew we were going to the orphanage. I had arranged it with James, a lab tech at Chreso who runs the orphanage out of his house. He started taking in neighborhood children as their parents were dying, and getting donations from whites to feed them. He now has two staff and they are building a house for the children that is almost complete. Kevin and I had a difficult conversation the night before, and were still not knowing what to say to each other, and we were nearly half asleep as we drove over. James and another man were waiting at the church on the corner of Kalingalinga to drive us over. There are no street signs here so you are dependent on people and landmarks. We were late and I felt bad to keep them waiting. We arrived at the house and all the children were sitting on a big straw mat under the shade. If you saw their smiles you would take home bundles of them, I promise you. It breaks whatever is left of your heart. Maybe that’s why you don’t want to leave Africa, your heart is here, broken into a thousand pieces and there’s no way to put it back together to take it home with you. You’ll never have the same heart again.
I introduced us to another man who greeted us when we arrived, a teacher from the local school. Today he was there helping enroll one of the children for school in January. I introduced us as "Laur-ren and Kel-vin" and followed them into the living room. We are very familiar with these sort of introductions now. I’ll teach you all the secret handshake that means,"You and I are equals" and the other one that says, "I respect you" when I get home. They gave us a tour of the home, the kitchen, the room inside for the very young ones, and the outside room with bunkbeds for the older ones. Though by older I mean 10-13. Oh the children! You’d just die if you met them. I asked James what he thought I should do after the introductions and tour. Should I work on the children one on one? Have them do the techniques on each other? Where should we go? Can they speak English? They were just standing their looking at me. So I improvised, though I’d done this over and over again, every time it felt a little new. I got down on my knees, and I had them sit down and we started tapping. You can see the pictures. It was so fun and rewarding, and though they were putting their hands in the wrong places and making mistakes, I had to trust that the intention was there and the balancing would take place. It would have taken me over 2 hours to work on them individually. They were so cute. And all the adults present, including James’ wife, did the techniques with us, all the while the teacher was translating into N’anja so the little ones could understand. Again I had to decide what to say in very few words, with just seconds to think what they would understand. But it worked, and I had a lovely time. Again I could never have done this without Robb getting me into Chreso. Without medical approval, everything I do would be dismissed as traditional, superstitious, or worse, witchcraft.
After BodyTalk Access I pulled Kevin into the circle and we dumped out bags of pencils, paper, stickers, accessories and candy. The children were shy at first, but Kevin went to work making animals out of trash (he’s very good at this) and we were teaching them to sharpen pencils, and encouraging them to draw and play with these fun worksheets we brought. The adults stood around, and eventually we moved into the shade as the children got going. The stickers turned into body art, and the hairties into bracelets, and the trash into bracelets (really, why waste anything?) and eventually the English they did know came out as we worked on naming animals and the days of the week and sucked on strawberry candies. It was so fun. I could have stayed all day, but it was lunchtime, and we got a call it was time to go with Robb to immigration, so we sadly left. It killed me to leave right as they opened up to us. This is what Kevin told me Africa is used to. White people coming in, becoming their friend, and then disappearing, never to return. In a society based on relationships, this is confusing and sad. Things only really start to happen when you’ve been with a group of people for a week and a half to two weeks. That is my observation, of course. So we left, and drove out through the brown neighborhood, with red cell phone booths, and bits of green trees, and beautiful black faces, and purple and yellow shetenges blowing in the breeze and drying in the sun.
By the way, if anyone would like to donate money to one of the orphanages I visited, I will add in USD account information to this site in a few days. This money will go directly to food and shelter for the children.
Later that afternoon I went to Chreso to say goodbye to everyone I had worked with. Everyone was tired, because they only had Sunday off, since they worked at events all day Saturday for World AIDS Day. I met with Ester, to say goodbye, and confirm the BodyTalk Access training we will do for the nurses in July. I’ll have to get some advice from Robb on how to fund my next trip. I don’t know if Chreso can provide anything, but hopefully I can at least get some housing and get them to pay for the manuals. We’ll see. It’s so tricky in an area where their money is worthless in the world market, and your earning power is enormous in comparison. You might as well just pay for everything yourself, but then, when things are free to those who are working, and can afford to pay something, there’s no value placed in your work. I’ll have to think more about this. It was exciting to confirm things with her, but yet, I don’t want to get too excited until it all really happens. Their new location in Livingstone will be open when I get back, so we confirmed I will do a training there as well. The Falls will be full then, and it will be winter then, and nice and cool. Anyone itching to go to Africa?
After that we went by immigration, and after being rerouted to another immigration office, we were reminded of the pros and cons of the Zambian government. Few have the right information, and there’s no confirmation that anything will work, but their kindness combined with sometimes loose government regulation enables the impossible to happen, and other time consuming tasks to take mere seconds. You never know what you’ll get here. You surrender to the adventure, to who you’ll meet in line, where you’ll go, how you’ll spend your day. It’s all apart of the adventure of life.
Following our adventures in immigration, Kevin, Charlie and I followed Robb over to CRS where we helped organize a storage closet. It was a mess, and there were boxes of medication that had gone to waste because they weren’t refrigerated or they had expired. Even in areas where waste seems inconceivable with all the need, it is there. I was glad to help Robb with the project since he had done so much for me. That evening I packed and the household that had grown to number six, made a lovely dinner for my last night, with steak and wine and ice cream. It was very nice. When you’re with personalities that naturally lack warmth and emotional connection, you have to read their actions and acts of service, to know how they feel. Kevin who had been unfriendly and distant the last week, was open and friendly again. He blames the stress of being in Macha on his poor attitude this last week. Humans are complex and hard to understand. Honesty really is the best, even when it feels difficult and inconvenient. I hope I’ve learned this lesson this time around. There’s a very visible light behind his eyes again, and he made me a cd, which again, his is way of showing friendship and warmth.
I sat outside after dinner, and took in one last breath of evening air, ripe with mango and rain and sage and dust. Then hurried in to escape the mosquitoes who had rushed in to say their final fairwell. "I’ll be back" I told them, "I’ve only just begun." And I climbed the stairs, turned out the lights and lay in bed waiting to dream of Africa.
I introduced us to another man who greeted us when we arrived, a teacher from the local school. Today he was there helping enroll one of the children for school in January. I introduced us as "Laur-ren and Kel-vin" and followed them into the living room. We are very familiar with these sort of introductions now. I’ll teach you all the secret handshake that means,"You and I are equals" and the other one that says, "I respect you" when I get home. They gave us a tour of the home, the kitchen, the room inside for the very young ones, and the outside room with bunkbeds for the older ones. Though by older I mean 10-13. Oh the children! You’d just die if you met them. I asked James what he thought I should do after the introductions and tour. Should I work on the children one on one? Have them do the techniques on each other? Where should we go? Can they speak English? They were just standing their looking at me. So I improvised, though I’d done this over and over again, every time it felt a little new. I got down on my knees, and I had them sit down and we started tapping. You can see the pictures. It was so fun and rewarding, and though they were putting their hands in the wrong places and making mistakes, I had to trust that the intention was there and the balancing would take place. It would have taken me over 2 hours to work on them individually. They were so cute. And all the adults present, including James’ wife, did the techniques with us, all the while the teacher was translating into N’anja so the little ones could understand. Again I had to decide what to say in very few words, with just seconds to think what they would understand. But it worked, and I had a lovely time. Again I could never have done this without Robb getting me into Chreso. Without medical approval, everything I do would be dismissed as traditional, superstitious, or worse, witchcraft.
After BodyTalk Access I pulled Kevin into the circle and we dumped out bags of pencils, paper, stickers, accessories and candy. The children were shy at first, but Kevin went to work making animals out of trash (he’s very good at this) and we were teaching them to sharpen pencils, and encouraging them to draw and play with these fun worksheets we brought. The adults stood around, and eventually we moved into the shade as the children got going. The stickers turned into body art, and the hairties into bracelets, and the trash into bracelets (really, why waste anything?) and eventually the English they did know came out as we worked on naming animals and the days of the week and sucked on strawberry candies. It was so fun. I could have stayed all day, but it was lunchtime, and we got a call it was time to go with Robb to immigration, so we sadly left. It killed me to leave right as they opened up to us. This is what Kevin told me Africa is used to. White people coming in, becoming their friend, and then disappearing, never to return. In a society based on relationships, this is confusing and sad. Things only really start to happen when you’ve been with a group of people for a week and a half to two weeks. That is my observation, of course. So we left, and drove out through the brown neighborhood, with red cell phone booths, and bits of green trees, and beautiful black faces, and purple and yellow shetenges blowing in the breeze and drying in the sun.
By the way, if anyone would like to donate money to one of the orphanages I visited, I will add in USD account information to this site in a few days. This money will go directly to food and shelter for the children.
Later that afternoon I went to Chreso to say goodbye to everyone I had worked with. Everyone was tired, because they only had Sunday off, since they worked at events all day Saturday for World AIDS Day. I met with Ester, to say goodbye, and confirm the BodyTalk Access training we will do for the nurses in July. I’ll have to get some advice from Robb on how to fund my next trip. I don’t know if Chreso can provide anything, but hopefully I can at least get some housing and get them to pay for the manuals. We’ll see. It’s so tricky in an area where their money is worthless in the world market, and your earning power is enormous in comparison. You might as well just pay for everything yourself, but then, when things are free to those who are working, and can afford to pay something, there’s no value placed in your work. I’ll have to think more about this. It was exciting to confirm things with her, but yet, I don’t want to get too excited until it all really happens. Their new location in Livingstone will be open when I get back, so we confirmed I will do a training there as well. The Falls will be full then, and it will be winter then, and nice and cool. Anyone itching to go to Africa?
After that we went by immigration, and after being rerouted to another immigration office, we were reminded of the pros and cons of the Zambian government. Few have the right information, and there’s no confirmation that anything will work, but their kindness combined with sometimes loose government regulation enables the impossible to happen, and other time consuming tasks to take mere seconds. You never know what you’ll get here. You surrender to the adventure, to who you’ll meet in line, where you’ll go, how you’ll spend your day. It’s all apart of the adventure of life.
Following our adventures in immigration, Kevin, Charlie and I followed Robb over to CRS where we helped organize a storage closet. It was a mess, and there were boxes of medication that had gone to waste because they weren’t refrigerated or they had expired. Even in areas where waste seems inconceivable with all the need, it is there. I was glad to help Robb with the project since he had done so much for me. That evening I packed and the household that had grown to number six, made a lovely dinner for my last night, with steak and wine and ice cream. It was very nice. When you’re with personalities that naturally lack warmth and emotional connection, you have to read their actions and acts of service, to know how they feel. Kevin who had been unfriendly and distant the last week, was open and friendly again. He blames the stress of being in Macha on his poor attitude this last week. Humans are complex and hard to understand. Honesty really is the best, even when it feels difficult and inconvenient. I hope I’ve learned this lesson this time around. There’s a very visible light behind his eyes again, and he made me a cd, which again, his is way of showing friendship and warmth.
I sat outside after dinner, and took in one last breath of evening air, ripe with mango and rain and sage and dust. Then hurried in to escape the mosquitoes who had rushed in to say their final fairwell. "I’ll be back" I told them, "I’ve only just begun." And I climbed the stairs, turned out the lights and lay in bed waiting to dream of Africa.
Monday, December 3, 2007
A Day at the Farm
Today we visited "the farm", a charming cottage just a short drive outside Lusaka. Richard, a white Zambian (ex pats, they call them) and his Czech wife and daughter live there. They were so lovely and warm and alive and engaging. I felt positively recharged. We played volleyball in the backyard alongside the singing birds and the papaya tree, and had lunch in their darling living room covered with paintings of family members and swaying African hips and beautiful Zambian countryside. Both of them are painters, and they live in a beautiful home on a farm that inspires a great deal of their work. The whole day was like playing in an issue of Town and County magazine. It was charming and magical. After being joined by more Czech friends, having lunch and wine, playing another two rounds of volleyball, and squeezing in a short nap without anyone noticing, we went off to the nearby game lodge to use their pool. We saw kudu and umpala and zebra and a giant warthog with hug tusks in the bush along the way. I've been reading this beautiful book on Africa full of photographs of ceremonies from all over the continent. It's been very fun, and it makes me want to stay and explore the whole world. After this trip I feel equipted to handle anything. I know about mosquitoes and heat, water, food, what to bring and research and how to build relationships under any circumstances. I feel so totally safe here. I know there are dangerous areas of Africa that are at war, and who's governments have failed them and left them poor and starving, but I hardly find them frightening. In fact, I'd love to explore them more than ever! I'm only afraid of the countries that America has wronged. I would hate to be an American there. Sometimes it's hard to be an American here when you meet people from Europe who have very strong opinions about you. But the people of Zambia are so loving and peaceful, and I imagine that most of the cultures want to learn about you as much as you want to learn about them. I remember being in China and people running up to us at the park to practice their English with us, and in Argentina they were just as eager to talk with you. The world seems like a big, friendly, loving place where people say hello to you when they walk into a room, and want to shake your hand and learn your name, and see you the next day.
Sunday was really nice, and I was glad for the ease, because I'm so dreadfully tired. I've been fatigued lately, and I'm either processing my whole experience (perhaps my whole life!), or I've picked up some small parasite. It's been hard to get up in the morning, and these last few days my mind has been racing with thoughts, and my nights have been full of intense dreams. I've had many moments where I've been very sad and I've felt very disconnected and alone. If only there were more words to describe all these feelings, and observations, and wishes for my life. I hope I'm more the wiser when I get home.
Sunday was really nice, and I was glad for the ease, because I'm so dreadfully tired. I've been fatigued lately, and I'm either processing my whole experience (perhaps my whole life!), or I've picked up some small parasite. It's been hard to get up in the morning, and these last few days my mind has been racing with thoughts, and my nights have been full of intense dreams. I've had many moments where I've been very sad and I've felt very disconnected and alone. If only there were more words to describe all these feelings, and observations, and wishes for my life. I hope I'm more the wiser when I get home.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Exciting BodyTalk News
This evening Robb picked me up from Chreso with great news. Esther, the wife of the co-founder of Chreso approached him at the meeting they had this afternoon and told Robb how great it has been having me at Chreso. She was worried what they would do when I left. Couldn't I stay longer? I can't remember the exact words, but she believed that what I was doing was a major asset at Chreso that was benefiting both the staff and patients immensely. She wanted to know if it was possible for someone to learn what I was doing so it could continue to be implemented at Chreso when I'm gone!!! Isn't that wild? Robb told me it was the first time Esther had ever liked something he had introduced at Chreso. I'm ecstatic. Absolutely thrilled. Robb asked if this was possible, and I told him. "Of course!" Isn't that exciting!!! BodyTalk Access might become a regular part of Chreso clinic in Lusaka!! I'm speechless. Esther is a very stoic woman, and when I spoke with her for a moment the other day, I gave her an update on the reactions I was witnessing from the work, and she said, "Well it's all psychosomatic". It felt like a brushoff and a dismissal of what I was doing as nothing more than a placebo, but I didn't care, because I'm used to people thinking that, and everything is a placebo anyway, and she wasn't the type I thought would get it anyway. So I say all that to say I was very surprised at Robb's story. Can you believe it?
Anyway I'm very grateful and excited. Now I just want to oversee the integration of BodyTalk Access into every clinic and hospital in the world!!! And I won't be satisfied until I have. Just imagine how it would reform healthcare if patients were healing faster, discharged sooner, using less medication, and less likely to return with aches and pains and head colds months later. It would be great! Besides training the nursing staff I want to get full time BodyTalk Practitioners on staff at medical facilities. Besides being underutilized for my skills in helping people, I know so many others who are underutilized as well! Men and women who know they were born to do this work, but can't make any money at it. This must change!!! I want to find them jobs too! What a lovely world it would be when you went to see the doctor and felt assured by their knowledge, but also touched, nurtured, seen and healed. Makes me think of all my trips to the doctor's office over the years, and especially the ones when I was really sick and unhappy. Sometimes I would cry and cry in their offices, but their prescriptions could not heal the pain deep down manifesting as annual bronchitis and back spasms. If they had hugged me for a long time, maybe it would have helped. Maybe that should be implemented at hospitals; long, caring hugs when you need them. At my HeartTouch training they taught us that when you hold a hug for at least 15 seconds the brain starts to produce oxytocin, a drug that makes you feel well. Do you think I could find a job as a professional hugger? I think if someone really recognized the benefits of meeting human need when patients are unwell and seeking help at a clinic, they would see that it does not cost the clinic more, it costs them the same, if not less. When women hire a doula, they don't see it as an additional cost, because they know the presence of the doula will lower their chances of having numerous interventions including a costly cesarean, and they know the cost evens out, as well as enhances the overall experience for them by making them feel nurtured and cared for. This reform must absolutely happen! If only I knew where to begin. "Hello. Hi, I'm calling to talk to you about a job. No this position doesn't exist yet. I'd like you to pay me to wander around the hospital and love people." Does that sound about right? Need I say more. Anyway, I'm just dreaming away. I'm sure I'll be awakened soon by cold, harsh reality. And I know not everyone needs a hug, some people just need their Cortices tapped out and a pat on the back. Good thing I'm coming home in six days because I need both. Goodnight everyone.
Anyway I'm very grateful and excited. Now I just want to oversee the integration of BodyTalk Access into every clinic and hospital in the world!!! And I won't be satisfied until I have. Just imagine how it would reform healthcare if patients were healing faster, discharged sooner, using less medication, and less likely to return with aches and pains and head colds months later. It would be great! Besides training the nursing staff I want to get full time BodyTalk Practitioners on staff at medical facilities. Besides being underutilized for my skills in helping people, I know so many others who are underutilized as well! Men and women who know they were born to do this work, but can't make any money at it. This must change!!! I want to find them jobs too! What a lovely world it would be when you went to see the doctor and felt assured by their knowledge, but also touched, nurtured, seen and healed. Makes me think of all my trips to the doctor's office over the years, and especially the ones when I was really sick and unhappy. Sometimes I would cry and cry in their offices, but their prescriptions could not heal the pain deep down manifesting as annual bronchitis and back spasms. If they had hugged me for a long time, maybe it would have helped. Maybe that should be implemented at hospitals; long, caring hugs when you need them. At my HeartTouch training they taught us that when you hold a hug for at least 15 seconds the brain starts to produce oxytocin, a drug that makes you feel well. Do you think I could find a job as a professional hugger? I think if someone really recognized the benefits of meeting human need when patients are unwell and seeking help at a clinic, they would see that it does not cost the clinic more, it costs them the same, if not less. When women hire a doula, they don't see it as an additional cost, because they know the presence of the doula will lower their chances of having numerous interventions including a costly cesarean, and they know the cost evens out, as well as enhances the overall experience for them by making them feel nurtured and cared for. This reform must absolutely happen! If only I knew where to begin. "Hello. Hi, I'm calling to talk to you about a job. No this position doesn't exist yet. I'd like you to pay me to wander around the hospital and love people." Does that sound about right? Need I say more. Anyway, I'm just dreaming away. I'm sure I'll be awakened soon by cold, harsh reality. And I know not everyone needs a hug, some people just need their Cortices tapped out and a pat on the back. Good thing I'm coming home in six days because I need both. Goodnight everyone.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The Latest
Lovely day today. Worked at Chreso clinic again. It's been an incredibly fascinating experience. I've been reading this book on cancer by Andreas Mortiz and I'm really starting to understand how the metabolic processes get shut down in the body, and how the cells respond when there's poor nutrition, no oxygen and loads of toxins present. Maybe it was this new understanding that helped generate such an intense response from the patients. Last week when I was doing the Access techniques, several of the patients started sweating profusely. It wasn't hot out, and if anyone should have been sweating it should have been me, because I was doing all the work! They would really start sweating during Hydration, and then during Body Chemistry these smells would poor out of them that were so strong I had to turn my head away. One woman's face was completely numb afterwards and her eyes were twitching. Today I worked on a woman who had burns on her breasts because her 21 year old daughter was angry and poured burning hot porridge on her. She told me the story with her eyes turned downwards towards the floor. Later I saw her twice in the waiting room and she looked me right in the eyes and smiled. I followed up with a staff member at Chreso today who healed nearly instantly from a sore throat and a cough with blood last week. We did some Access, and then she helped me plan an Access class this Saturday at Chreso. I confirmed it with Fred the programs director, and the class will be announced at the meeting tomorrow morning. I'm really looking forward to it! So many staff members have shown interest in learning the techniques, so we'll see who shows up at the class. Oddly enough, Saturday is World AIDS Day, so the timing couldn't be better. All the staff will go to the building next door after the class at 13 hours for the AIDS education events and the candlelight vigil. How neat that I get to teach Access on World AIDS Day. I couldn't be happier with how it has all turned out. I will be contacting two local orphanages tomorrow to sort out bringing Access there, and then I leave on Tuesday.
I'm so excited to go home, but also saddened. It hit me that I'm leaving tonight when I realized I won't get to see Tuesday market again. It was so beautiful. The female vendors shouting "Madam, potatoes", squatted next to piles of vegetables in the dirt. Children munching on stalks of corn and tiny babies hanging off large black breasts while their mothers cleaned vegetables. Young boys carrying baskets of produce for whites, Asians, Arabs and Indians all mingled together. Young women with only their eyes revealed behind long, black cloaks, purchasing tomatoes next to aged Indian women wrapped in white linen with exposed midrifs.
It's no wonder so many people want to live here. At first I couldn't understand it. Besides the safaris, gas and imported specialty items everything is so cheap. Everyone has a maid or two who prepare their meals, do the dishes, clean the house, manage the laundry, care for their children and their property. After work, they can just sit around like kings and enjoy the day. And in the cities and the rural areas, their needs are met, they have running water and electricity, and everything is provided. No wonder. Tonight at dinner Robb told me that after 2009 the US is doubling what it is now giving to the AIDS epidemic. 30 billion dollars will go to Asia, Africa, and other epidemic sites. Robb said the goal is to replace all international workers with local people, and at the rate that they are doing it, he'll be out of a job very soon, and will have to move to a more dangerous, or rural area to stay in Africa. Interesting how quickly it will all change. I wonder what I'll be doing in 2009. 2008 is just around the corner.
I had another moment today, where the air was knocked out of me and I realized, my god I'm in Africa. Who knows if I'll make it back this lifetime, who knows where life will take me, or why I'm here in this moment. What am I doing in Africa? Why does this feel like home? When I just let the images fly through my brain, it's almost too much. All the colors and the smells. And the sweet, sweet children. We learned yesterday that there was a huge fire in Macha. The restaurant and the radio station and the school and gift shop all burned to the ground. Many things were rescued though. The fire began in the radio station and with no fire department to stop it, it burned as it pleased. Gertain sent us pictures online, and we watched with open mouths and gasps. It was all gone. What was there last week, is gone today. All that is left are the pictures I took. Unbelieveable, isn't it? It's like a hole inside of me, a missing piece. Where did it go? Perhaps it was meant to burn; the end of a chapter in Macha. At least the community center is okay. And really, who knows what will rise up from the ashes. Who knows what tomorrow holds for Macha or for Africa.
I'm so excited to go home, but also saddened. It hit me that I'm leaving tonight when I realized I won't get to see Tuesday market again. It was so beautiful. The female vendors shouting "Madam, potatoes", squatted next to piles of vegetables in the dirt. Children munching on stalks of corn and tiny babies hanging off large black breasts while their mothers cleaned vegetables. Young boys carrying baskets of produce for whites, Asians, Arabs and Indians all mingled together. Young women with only their eyes revealed behind long, black cloaks, purchasing tomatoes next to aged Indian women wrapped in white linen with exposed midrifs.
It's no wonder so many people want to live here. At first I couldn't understand it. Besides the safaris, gas and imported specialty items everything is so cheap. Everyone has a maid or two who prepare their meals, do the dishes, clean the house, manage the laundry, care for their children and their property. After work, they can just sit around like kings and enjoy the day. And in the cities and the rural areas, their needs are met, they have running water and electricity, and everything is provided. No wonder. Tonight at dinner Robb told me that after 2009 the US is doubling what it is now giving to the AIDS epidemic. 30 billion dollars will go to Asia, Africa, and other epidemic sites. Robb said the goal is to replace all international workers with local people, and at the rate that they are doing it, he'll be out of a job very soon, and will have to move to a more dangerous, or rural area to stay in Africa. Interesting how quickly it will all change. I wonder what I'll be doing in 2009. 2008 is just around the corner.
I had another moment today, where the air was knocked out of me and I realized, my god I'm in Africa. Who knows if I'll make it back this lifetime, who knows where life will take me, or why I'm here in this moment. What am I doing in Africa? Why does this feel like home? When I just let the images fly through my brain, it's almost too much. All the colors and the smells. And the sweet, sweet children. We learned yesterday that there was a huge fire in Macha. The restaurant and the radio station and the school and gift shop all burned to the ground. Many things were rescued though. The fire began in the radio station and with no fire department to stop it, it burned as it pleased. Gertain sent us pictures online, and we watched with open mouths and gasps. It was all gone. What was there last week, is gone today. All that is left are the pictures I took. Unbelieveable, isn't it? It's like a hole inside of me, a missing piece. Where did it go? Perhaps it was meant to burn; the end of a chapter in Macha. At least the community center is okay. And really, who knows what will rise up from the ashes. Who knows what tomorrow holds for Macha or for Africa.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
New Revelations
I just arrived home to Lusaka this evening from Lake Kariba at Kafue National Park. It was a lovely weekend. I watched sunrise and sunset in the Zambian wilderness, napped twice a day in the shade on top of the boat, read a fantastic book, swam in the lake, and didn't get eaten. The houseboat was beautiful. All our meals were prepared and our dishes washed. We had beds made up for us each night with mosquito nets, and we had clean bathrooms and showers. I went in the water during the afternoon both days, but only when others were in, and only when we were in the middle of the lake. It really was a wild feeling, knowing that 5-6 meter crocodiles swim along the shore and eat the locals. It's sickening. Our guides were very careful about how deep the water was where we went in, and before we went wakeboarding they would ride the motorboat around the houseboat several times to "scare away the crocs"! The first night after dinner we watched this amazing lightning storm that went on for hours, lighting up the sky across the lake. It really was a relaxing day. The second night there was a full moon, and we watched the moon rise over the hills, and the hippos paddle gently across the lake edge like giant ballerinas. We road back this afternoon dripping with sweat and crammed into cars, darting baboons, and goats and cows and locals selling turtles along the road. Kevin and his dad were in the market for a pet, so they picked up two African turtles along the way. They have no names yet, but they are living rather well in the backyard. This trip was planned for Robb's team to relax after all their hard work on a project, so Kevin and I are lucky that two spots opened up so we could go. I am very glad for the experience. Just riding through Africa by car is an amazing experience. The tin roofed homes, crowded community hospitals, straw huts, fruit stands, children along the road in school uniforms, women carrying water and bricks and food atop their heads, the men and women working in the fields under the unforgiving sun; it's beyond words. Impossible to capture with a picture.
It feels great to be back in Lusaka. There is really nothing as nice as the simple joy of being home and showered with clean clothes and good food. I am very grateful this evening. Just rebooked my ticket to head home a week early. Lots to do at home, and it feels right to leave a little early. I know my travels here are not done. Feels good to have finally made a decision, and feels good that I am able to accept myself for making the decision I wanted to make. I think that's what makes it hard; being upset with yourself for the decision you want to make. Saying, "Come on Lauren, I want you to WANT this other thing. Come on, want it." Feels much better to just accept myself, and accept that I want to toss some money away. I do it all the time back home. Everyone does, and throwing it out is throwing it to someone else, so it must all be a part of a bigger plan. No point getting angry at yourself for that. Been talking with Kevin tonight about infinity and choice and karma and things. Big reminder that this world is a temporary home. Just find a nice warm bed and a fun job and someone you enjoy being yourself with and chill out. This could be fun. So that's my latest revelation.
Another beautiful storm tonight. There's nowhere that you appreciate the rain more than in Africa. It's such a gift, a relief from the sun and the heat, and it is never a disappointment. You become so used to accepting and embracing the moment for whatever it brings here. So much is unpleasant that anything pleasant is celebrated, and since such little is planned, very little is ruined, and there's more room for spontaneity and never ending serendipity.
Working at Chreso tomorrow so I'm off to bed. We'll see what new things tomorrow brings.
It feels great to be back in Lusaka. There is really nothing as nice as the simple joy of being home and showered with clean clothes and good food. I am very grateful this evening. Just rebooked my ticket to head home a week early. Lots to do at home, and it feels right to leave a little early. I know my travels here are not done. Feels good to have finally made a decision, and feels good that I am able to accept myself for making the decision I wanted to make. I think that's what makes it hard; being upset with yourself for the decision you want to make. Saying, "Come on Lauren, I want you to WANT this other thing. Come on, want it." Feels much better to just accept myself, and accept that I want to toss some money away. I do it all the time back home. Everyone does, and throwing it out is throwing it to someone else, so it must all be a part of a bigger plan. No point getting angry at yourself for that. Been talking with Kevin tonight about infinity and choice and karma and things. Big reminder that this world is a temporary home. Just find a nice warm bed and a fun job and someone you enjoy being yourself with and chill out. This could be fun. So that's my latest revelation.
Another beautiful storm tonight. There's nowhere that you appreciate the rain more than in Africa. It's such a gift, a relief from the sun and the heat, and it is never a disappointment. You become so used to accepting and embracing the moment for whatever it brings here. So much is unpleasant that anything pleasant is celebrated, and since such little is planned, very little is ruined, and there's more room for spontaneity and never ending serendipity.
Working at Chreso tomorrow so I'm off to bed. We'll see what new things tomorrow brings.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Swimming with Crocodiles
If I don't make it back alive, this is my last goodbye. We're leaving for a houseboat trip on a lake in Zambia this morning; a lake that has crocodiles and hippos in it!! I'll be out on a lake for three days with a bunch of doctors and their spouses and children. Should be an adventure, as long as I don't get eaten.
Thanksgiving last night was great. Thirty of us out by the pool with two huge turkeys and lots of flys. We didn't eat the flys, but we did eat the turkey. I had a few ants with my pie; the Zambians say it's good for digestion. The weather was gorgeous. Everything is blooming and green now that the rain came.
Talk soon!
Thanksgiving last night was great. Thirty of us out by the pool with two huge turkeys and lots of flys. We didn't eat the flys, but we did eat the turkey. I had a few ants with my pie; the Zambians say it's good for digestion. The weather was gorgeous. Everything is blooming and green now that the rain came.
Talk soon!
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